... something else i took with me from tanzania...

i don't think i wrote about this before, but i have now 2 sponsored children with compassion... well, actually 1 and a half, because one i sponsor together with my sister...

but this last one i got, is one of the children i got to meet when i was over there... and it's awesome to meet a child, and then decide to become his sponsor...

his name is joseph... and he is 6, turning 7 in june... and i know you must be dying to see a picture of this creature... so there it is...

now you tell me... how can you not fall in love with this creature?!?! he's the one i am holding... the other kid was just there... and the person who took the picture probably didn't know how to zoom...

anyways... he's an acrobat too... check this out...

i know, the picture is not very sharp... sorry, i suck... but you can tell what he's doing...

a tip... make a difference in someone's life... sponsor a child today (http://www.compassion.com/; http://www.compassion.it/)

back from tanzania...

... in love with africa more than ever... if possible...
their eyes, their smiles, their skin... them, just them... african people, in their simplicity, have captured my heart once again... i wish i stayed there... i wish i didn't have to leave, i wish all it takes is a packed bag and a plane ticket, one way...
maybe that's all it takes, after all... learing to live the way they do probably takes much effort, but surely it does not require resources of any kind... just a willing heart...

i have a heavy heart today... and it's not just because i've just come back from this trip... it's heavy because it's lonely... i thought, after a long time, maybe this loneliness found an end... but it's sadly not so... i wish i could say that i don't care, but i can't, 'cause i care...

feeling inspired...

... well, maybe inspiration is too big of a word... but i just thought i post a copy of the wine label i created for mws tour... very simple, but i quite like it... it's an opportuinty for all of you to appreciate my, let's say, creativity... lol...

the quote is something, isn't it? lol...

respect...

i had a "discussion" with someone at my office (the person who happens to be my "boss" - as much as i hate this word...) about respect...
for this big event of mws in italy, i forgot to follow up on something someone else had done... not on purpose, of course... as i said, i forgot... if it had been on purpose, i would have said "i purposely didn't do as i was told, cause i knew better" or something along this line...
the feeling of making a mistake is already not one's favourite feeling... if your boss practically tells you that the fact that you omitted something shows a lack of respect towards the work of someone else, well... that does not make you feel better, does it?
respect... i wonder if he even knows about respect... arranging a big event, or actually arranging any event, involves relationship building... word given to someone about things that need to happen... it involves a lot of efforts...
and i wonder if it shows respect when your boss comes and changes some of the things that were already set, without even telling you... or raises his voice to speak to you when he has no reason to do it, especially in front of people... mws himself or the cleaning lady... it doesn't even matter... i don't raise my voice when i speak to him... he has no right to do it with me... i am not deaf, not yet, and i can hear just as well at the normal, civil volume...
my reward after the show was knowing that mws, the management and the band really enjoyed working with me... joey said "you understand us... and i am not referring to the language... we want to work more with you..." this is my reward... cause in the office, all it was said so far is that i lacked respect...
my reward was seeing the crowd in "standing ovation" when the heard the first notes of agnus dei... the song i ask to add to the list...
my reward was mws coming to hug me thank you for the gift i brought for home - a bottle of my dad's wine - , even if i was told in the office that we need to focus on the more important things...
my reward was glenn saying he'd like to have a copy of the lable - something i had worked on in the middle of the night, to make it special... even if my boss had made the comment that i needed to focus on the more important things...
my reward was joey's face when he saw the welcome home sign on the bus... and his thank you for the little home made band who played traditional songs for him on the bus...

many other rewards...
i just wonder why all of them come from the outside... and none from the inside... inside of the office...

well... all i have to say is that i consider the naples concert a success... overall... all these other issues are just hickups... i just wonder why people see problems where there are none...

oh, i have to say something else... i know it's not all about rewards... i have learnt not to do it for the rewards... or for the boss... or anyone else... as we say on the ship (i know i am not there anymore, but my sense of belonging to the ship is still as strong as ever...), it's not what you do, but who you're doing it for... He will give you the reward you deserve... nothing more, nothing less... i guess that's what keeps me going... i guess that's what keeps His people going...

change...

i felt i had to change something... so i changed the template of my blog... maybe it's a first step towards blogging more... or maybe i was just bored and changed it...
man, it's already 11pm and i am still up doing stuff... i told myself i was gonna go sleep early... why do i even believe myself when i say this? lol... well, maybe i go...

coming soon... mws in italy...

i should really update this blog more often... sometimes it feels like i blink, and BANG... a month is already over... gone...
last friday i was able to go to karlsruhe for michael w smith's concert... i had never been to one before... and if i was already excited about the concert in naples coming up soon, now that i have seen one, i can't even explain how i feel... it will be an honour to be a host for michael and his band and all his entourage... i am really looking forward to see them all again... and i hope i will be able to spend some more meaningful time with them...

bold lines...

i got more than one... just having a good chat with a few precious friends... so now i put my smile back on... and feel a lot better... thank YOU and thank you guys... you know who you are...

on of those days again...

oh gosh... i feel so lonely it almost hurts...
maybe it's because i have nothing to do so i spend way too much time thinking, but i don't know if i can handle this for much longer...
it's another saturday, another weekend... another day that i'll probably spend at home, reading a book or chatting on yahoo with far away friends... i don't know what God is trying to teach me, but it is very painful... very hard... and i am not sure if i can do this a lot longer... actually i know i can't... and i feel stupid, cause i really have no reason to complain... i better off than a lot of other people i know or i've met... but maybe i am just not able to take on as much... i am reading this book where the main characters have this quite close relationship with God and whenever they are in difficulf situation, there it comes... His voice... printed bold in the book, for the reader to identify as well... and right now i'd love to have one of those bold lines...

nostalgic mood...

... it is not always like that... most of the time i can really say that i am fine... but sometimes... BANG... it just hits me... and i just start missing it sooooooooooo much... the ship, life on the ship, people on the ship, jokes on the ship, even my messy cabin... the doulos is and will always be part of me... and i even miss talking about it... people at home do not understand, they don't want to hear... but you know what? they don't know what they are missing... my antidote to sadness is listening to worship music, with my eyes closed... pretending to be in the ML... surrounded by those wonderful people... and PTL for yahoo, skype, msn, facebook and all this other stuff... it really makes it easier... to keep in touch or even just to talk to someone who comes from your same planet when you think you can't cope with life anymore... i love you all, people... i really do... :-)

man... where is everybody?!?! did the rapture happen and i was left behind?!?!

...

it's funny how it always happens that when you manage to have your quite time for 2 days in a row and you think you are just gonna have a brilliant day cause you started it the right way... it never happens... i got up almost assuming that today my day was gonna be a good one... cause i started it with God... but less than 15 minutes later i was proven to be wrong... this day is not gonna be extremely good just because i started it with God... it is actually gonna be harder to make this day good precisely because of the way i started it... tough... but i don't have to do this on my own... does it even make sense?!?! well, to me it does... i already feel better...

it's cherry blossom time here... check this out...

i don't know if you are able to notice, but i also got a hair cut... finally!!!

... just so that you don't forget how i look...

naomi and i were being "camera-happy" last week... we took a million pictures of eachother... with all kinds of expressions... in this one right here i was looking up at her saying "what are you doing?"... haha
and this is her, kind of doing the same thing...

sooo frustrating...

oh my goodness...
here i am, listening to my favourite song lately... thinking: what the heck am i doing here? able to do nothing by myself, not even a phone call... depending on people who are willing to help only with the things they feel comfortable with (= hardly anything, since the doulos is something they are totally not familiar with...)... getting upset at everyone and noone, everything and nothing at the same time... smiling outside, screaming inside... i must be getting crazy...

my favourite song lately...

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart?
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapour in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me?
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours I am Yours

sushi party... for my b-day...

how many people can say that they have celebrated their 30th birthday in japan with 2 real japanese dudes making home made sushi and tempura for them... not many, huh?!?!

check this out...

crossing the line...

tomorrow... i am crossing the line... i will start having 3 in front of the number indicating my age... i leave the twenties... and get into the thirties... OH MY GOODNESS!!! you try to get used to idea... but i believe it'll still be a shock... please don't forget to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY... :-)

day off... in fukuoka...

... you probably could not care less, but i could sleep in this morning... and it felt soooooo good, waking up at 9 and beeing able to turn around a keep sleeping... it would have been nicer it i was on a bed, rather than on a thin matress on the floor... but yeah, this is japan... in our current accommodation there is not one single chair... can you believe it?! but anyways, naomi and i made it all the way to downtown, all by ourselves... met other 2 crazy americans, went to the asian arts museum (they paid for us... how sweet! haha) and then for coffee at seattle's best coffee... which made me think of jacob and jeff... obviously because they are from there... then we went window shopping, cause we cannto afford anything in this country... and then met makoto later and went for sushi... sooooooo good... well, somebody's got to do the hard work, isn't it? tomorrow we get to go to an international church, which is very exciting, cause we will be able to understand the service, for a change... have a nice sunday, you all!!!

i did it...

they brought me to the public bath... and i have to say that it was less traumatic than i thought it would be... for these people it's so normal, that after a few minutes of uneasiness, it became ALMOST normal for me as well... not quite normal... that's why no pictures... haha

japan is an experience...

well... not so much of a cutlure shock... thank God i came prepared... this place is extremely clean... i can't read any of the signs, cause they are all in japanese... even turning the heating on in my room is a challenge, or at leat was a challenge before i memorized which botton i have to press... toilets are interesting, but i won't talk about that right now... the scary thing is that they want to take me to the public bath... where people go completely nacked... at least men and women are separated... but how will i look at my collegue in the same way knowing that we saw each other nacked?! help!!!

back on the net...

hello everyone... or as they'd say here in japan... minasan konichiwa...
just ti say that i am back on the blog... and on the net! it's freezing cold here... i'll have to see if i can borrow more warm clothes from someone... as far as i understand there should be some available at someone's house... God is good... maybe i'll even find those black shoes i was so desperately trying to find on the ship...
hope to hear from you... please please please, leave some comments...