respect...

i had a "discussion" with someone at my office (the person who happens to be my "boss" - as much as i hate this word...) about respect...
for this big event of mws in italy, i forgot to follow up on something someone else had done... not on purpose, of course... as i said, i forgot... if it had been on purpose, i would have said "i purposely didn't do as i was told, cause i knew better" or something along this line...
the feeling of making a mistake is already not one's favourite feeling... if your boss practically tells you that the fact that you omitted something shows a lack of respect towards the work of someone else, well... that does not make you feel better, does it?
respect... i wonder if he even knows about respect... arranging a big event, or actually arranging any event, involves relationship building... word given to someone about things that need to happen... it involves a lot of efforts...
and i wonder if it shows respect when your boss comes and changes some of the things that were already set, without even telling you... or raises his voice to speak to you when he has no reason to do it, especially in front of people... mws himself or the cleaning lady... it doesn't even matter... i don't raise my voice when i speak to him... he has no right to do it with me... i am not deaf, not yet, and i can hear just as well at the normal, civil volume...
my reward after the show was knowing that mws, the management and the band really enjoyed working with me... joey said "you understand us... and i am not referring to the language... we want to work more with you..." this is my reward... cause in the office, all it was said so far is that i lacked respect...
my reward was seeing the crowd in "standing ovation" when the heard the first notes of agnus dei... the song i ask to add to the list...
my reward was mws coming to hug me thank you for the gift i brought for home - a bottle of my dad's wine - , even if i was told in the office that we need to focus on the more important things...
my reward was glenn saying he'd like to have a copy of the lable - something i had worked on in the middle of the night, to make it special... even if my boss had made the comment that i needed to focus on the more important things...
my reward was joey's face when he saw the welcome home sign on the bus... and his thank you for the little home made band who played traditional songs for him on the bus...

many other rewards...
i just wonder why all of them come from the outside... and none from the inside... inside of the office...

well... all i have to say is that i consider the naples concert a success... overall... all these other issues are just hickups... i just wonder why people see problems where there are none...

oh, i have to say something else... i know it's not all about rewards... i have learnt not to do it for the rewards... or for the boss... or anyone else... as we say on the ship (i know i am not there anymore, but my sense of belonging to the ship is still as strong as ever...), it's not what you do, but who you're doing it for... He will give you the reward you deserve... nothing more, nothing less... i guess that's what keeps me going... i guess that's what keeps His people going...